If you’ve been following my page here for a while, you’ll have heard me talk about building self confidence and in particular the value in being the “best version of you”.
I believe we all have the option to embed habits which help us to be the best version of ourselves.
What does that even mean?
At first glance, it seems to suggest that you have to be flying high and reaching fantastical results and outcomes every single day. Pushing yourself to be better, do more, have more confidence, excel in all areas.
Being the best version of you is about being grounded, in tune with yourself, listening to yourself and making decisions from a place of trust and connection. Having the ability to cancel outside noise when you’re choosing how to move your life forward and how to spend your time and who with and doing what.
We live in a NOISY time where there are so many distractions and external influences which take us outside of who we are and make us ignore the voice inside of ourselves – moving away from who we naturally want to be. Sapping your confidence.
We try to conform.
To fit in.
To be what others want us to be.
To follow rules
Not speaking up in case we are judged.
Not showing up in case we get it wrong.
Being the best version of you, is to be who YOU want to be and not what others expect or want from you. This is where your confidence comes from.
And to do that, you need to overcome habits such as people-pleasing, procrastination, critical self-talk, holding yourself back in case you’re judged or not “liked”. You need to get really clear on what to say “no” to and what to say “yes” to on a daily basis.
(Now let’s be clear – one of the reasons I pursue this topic so passionately is because it’s an ongoing confidence battle I have with myself! “We teach what we most need to learn” right?)
I’m a classic people pleaser. Always have been, since a young child. I hate confrontation, dislike being judged, worry about what people think ALL THE TIME. I love to be loved. I like to make people happy. I hate the thought of drawing attention to myself. My confidence coach told me last year I had one of the worst inner critics she’d ever worked with! All those years in the law, being boxed in, created habits of obligation and duty and battered my confidence – which have been hard to break.
But because I’m aware of it, I continuously strive to overcome it. I’ve counselled myself to know that it’s impossible to please everyone and that’s ok.
I can be who I want to be.
I can say what I want to say.
I reassure myself that if I do things wrong, I can clean up, I can learn, and I can try again tomorrow.
Awareness is power.
Action trumps inaction and you keep moving forward, inching in the direction you’re called in, ignoring outside noise.
In business this is particularly important because success in business needs us to innovate, create, try new pathways, strike out away from the crowd with confidence and gusto.
How do you stand out if you’re behaving and acting like everything else?
How will you ever get anything done if you’re constantly worrying about the outcomes and possible disasters or catastrophes?
How do you expect people to buy from you if they can’t even see who you really are? If you’re pretending to be something or someone else?
The best version of you is flawed, imperfect and makes lots of mistakes.
The best version of you inspires others to do the same. Together we grow, when you’re surrounded by people who encourage and support you to simply be You.
The best version of You keeps trying, exploring, reaching out, treading gently on new pathways in a constant journey to find what makes your heart sing. Being brave, confident, making new outcomes, rejecting the comfort zone in pursuit of joy and exhilaration and impact.
It does not mean being perfect and wonderful and fabulous all the time, getting it right and being always on top of the world.
(Who would love that person anyway? She sounds super-annoying and boring. Where’s her banter and funny stories about herself? All our favourite stories from our friends and loved ones stem from when they got things wrong in pursuit of being imperfectly themselves, hilarious and loveable).
The best version of You tunes into herself, listens for her own wisdom, makes decisions based on intuition and information and experience mixed together.
So what can you do today to be the best version of You?
Likely as not, it will be the very thing you’ve been avoiding doing for months.
Yep, that’s the one. If it feels uncomfortable, then all the better. Finding yourself when you’ve been hiding yourself is not always easy, but it’s the route to freedom.
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